John Gutzmer’s jeans club for men

John Gutzmer’s jeans club for men

John and Cara on the LasVegas strip

08/06/07 QuadCities golf tournament
Drew: Is that what you’re wearing
John: Yeah,
Drew: You know it’s like 100 degrees out
John: And…
Drew: And, we will be walking around a golf course…
And, you’re wearing jeans.
John: I’m good.

You see, John Gutzmer’s jeans club for men is not just for guys who like jeans… Hey who doesn’t. It’s more of a state of mind. Is it hot outside? Yes. Do you want to look like a little girl? Uh, no. And from these humble beginnings began John Gutzmer’s Jean’s club for men.

It is not that I have anything against shorts, they defiantly have their place, (bicycling, running, swimming), it is just that I would prefer to wear jeans. Why?.. Well I am glad you asked.

John at the palace at Versailes

Comfort
Is there anything more comfortable than a well worn pair of Jeans. Apparently the more you wear them the better they conform to your body. Almost all of the jeans I wear have even have a worn spot that holds my wallet at a certain angle in my pants. (apparently that is where it goes

John ice skating on the lake

Utility
You want to crawl around under your house, or climb a tree. You are going to want some jeans. Putting on a roof, or walking around town… jeans. They are good for almost all tasks. They protect your skin from sharp things, and they encapsulate your legs with a soft delightful sheath of cotton... What more could you want.

John and the youth in Juarez Mexico on a 110 deg day

Durability
I have had some jeans that have had exceptionally long lives. I have thought about sending some of them back to Levi for breeding purposes. What other apparel could you use to crawl around on gravel, then shake the dust off and expect to wear the next day.

John and Cara at the City Museam on the 4th of July

Consistency
I don’t try on jeans any more. I haven’t for 15 years. I do still shop around for deals, but I know what I am looking for… 34 32 550. And when I find them at the price I want, I usually buy several pairs. Girls may spend hours and days looking for pants and skirts, but guys have a number then can find in on the shelf and walk up to the register, no trying on, no hassle, find the number and check out.

John at the Venice Naval Museam

Yes. There is a downside. Sometimes it is hot, and other times it is really hot, and jeans are not known for their cool airiness. So what is one to do? Suck it up. Sure it is summer and it is 110 degrees with the sun beating down on you, but most of your body heat is concentrated around your head and your chest. So throw on a t-shirt and sweat it out. It will be worth it when your friends come up and ask if you are hot, and you can snidely reply “Yeah, I am…. ;) ”

Why do I always cut myself in such inconvenient places?

Why do I always cut myself in such inconvenient places?

So I don not know if it is the fact that I am kind of klutzy and uncoordinated or that I am constantly working with potentially hazardous items, but I cut myself a fair amount. It is not new I have come to grips with it over the coarse of my life. Here is the thing though. Whenever I cut myself it is always in the least convenient place on my body. Ok the second least convenient place. I never cut myself on my arm or my chest. It is always a place that is impossible to put a band aid on, like a knuckle or the very tip of my finger. And then you have to try to manipulate the Band aid with your one good hand while fixing the other. Really the best you can hope for is to bang your shin on something. Then the only downside (besides the gaping wound) is that sooner or later you will have to rip the band aid off along with most of you leg hair.

Even after you have the baindaid on you still have the issue of do I really need to wash my hands (Yes you do), and now the bandaid is all wet (I bet I could have held it for a couple more hours). That must be the allure of "cutting" at least when you are done you have something easy to bandage and keep dry. You defiantly do not see any angsty kids with cuts on there knuckles. Or the absolute worst the flap of skin between the thumb and the rest of the hand. I guess the human body is not really designed to have a flat piece of plastic stuck on it, but @ least I do not work in food service where they have to put latex finger condoms over any cuts, now that truly would be tragic.

Anyway, here is how Ive come to cope. First put on your triple anti-biotic goo, that is key. Now if it on the knuckle it is oh so tempting to just wrap it around (concentrically). That is wrong. Then when you bend the knuckle it squeezes and generally sucks. If you wrap it around at an angle (helicticaly) then it can still flex but is not stretching against it self and there is noting on the bottom to squeeze. If it is on the finger tip you have to go over the top, and if it is on the thumb flap... Well then you are just screwed.