Wednesday, July 23, 2008

I Dream in 16:9

I Dream in 16:9

Last night I had an interesting dream…

It started with me in a helicopter. I was throwing Guerillas out of the back of the helicopter. Then 2 of them grabbed me and threw me out. Fortunately, I landed in 18th century England. Unfortunately, I was in a sword fight with Angelina Jolie. She was pretty good, but she was also quite pregnant which helped me out. At one point we stopped to have some tea (as they do in England I assume). She put a half shot of gin into her tea, despite my objections. The sword fight continued and eventually I lost. The dream closed with Oasis “Boulevard of Broken Dreams” (alarm clock version).

The interesting part is that the dream me checked the IMDB for my dream. It had some Italian title (I don’t know Italian), and it received 6/10 stars (that’s fair). Here is my vague recollection of what it looked like:

Buono, il brutto, il cattivo, Il


Director: John Gutzmer
Writer: John Gutzmer

Plot: Series of short clips pieced together into a story to clear the mind of thought and process information into long term memory.



John Gutzmer ... Himself

Angelina Jolie ... English Matron

Goof: In the Helicopter scene John is seen throwing people out of one side of the helicopter, and in the next shot it is the other side of the helicopter.

Trivia: John Gutzmer’s bed is made of individually wrapped springs with a 2” layer of memory foam. In the winter a down comforter is added
DrX27: The AMA does not consider sword fighting an acceptable activity for pregnant women

Jefferys42: The AMA also suggests not drinking during pregnancy (clearly this dream is not AMA approved)

DreamWeaver98: During the 3rd trimester small quantities of alcohol have been shown to have little effect on developing babies. The real problem is why would anyone ever put gin in tea. That is just disgusting.

DrX27: Dreamweaver, is an idi0t. Alcohol can have an effect on babies throughout pregnancy and half an ounce of hard alcohol is too much. The third Trimester is important for prenatal neural development, and alcohol can significantly effect that.

Hef2020: I think you guys are missing the fact that this was a horrible dream. The plot did not make sense, the characters actions did not make sense, the time traveling was not explained nor was the sword fight… WORST DREAM EVER.

DreamWeaver98: The real danger here is the sword fighting. The drinking is also dangerous but really secondary to the sharp blades flying near the baby.

Smokingbabe77: Meet hot singles in your area at

UberUder: This was certainly a horrible dream, but by no means the worst dream ever… Have you seen Jim Gladstones “mime cops”? That had no redeeming qualities whatsoever. At least this had Angelina Jolie.

So what “dream interpretation” can I get form this:
1) I have probably been looking at too much imdb
2) I should probably avoid Angelina Jolie… and swords
3) I should probably stop putting gin in my tea.
I also appreciated that my dream contained not only a flame war, but an advertisement. I need to spend some time away from computers.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Batman Dark Knight Review

Batman Dark Knight Review

Last Thu we went to the midnight showing of the dark night. We got there about an hour early so we would have a good spot in line. However at that time an hour before the movie started the line was already around the side of the building. 20 min later it had made it to furniture warehouse, and by the time they had opened the doors it has come back up the sidewalk and circled around in front of the theater where we were standing. Counting the people who had made it inside the line was easily 400m long. I had guessed about 1500 people.
Once we got in we found out from the staff that all of the screens would be showing the movie so we just picked one. It was late starting (I assume because they were not expecting that ridiculous # of people showing up), and due to a misprint on imdb in ended up being 152min instead of 142. So was it worth staying up till 4am on a weeknight… Abso-fucking-lutly.

Everyone has been talking about how awesome Heath Ledger was, so I am not going to mention it at all (though it is true). If you would like to read more please see one of the 1000 other blogs on the topic. However the depth of all of the characters in this movie was truly astounding. It seems like all of the action movies I have watched lately have had such flat uninteresting characters that I have been bored beyond belief. Batman shows a lineup of characters who each possess the raw humanity that you do not see much.

How about some compare and contrast:

Joker (ok I guess I lied)
Jack Nicholson plays Jack Nicholson as himself (dressed as the Joker). Have you noticed that every character that Jack plays is exactly the same (crazy, neurotic, same voice) I am starting to think that is not so much the character he is playing but just who he is. Even at the Oscars he has that same creepy vibe.
By stark contrast the Current joker is dark, creepy, menacing, and a definite departure for the actor. This is the reason for Coulrophobia. Ledger makes John Wayne Gacey look like Bozo, and makes Bozo look like Nicholson.

Two Face (spoiler alert)
Remember Tommy Lee Jones as Two Face that lovable tramp with the pink makeup and the outlandish hair. No? Neither does anyone else. If they even saw that movie. This was a low point for a Batman franchise that had reached new lows with each iteration. This was the embodiment of a one dimensional character trying to match wits with Jim Carey playing Jim Carey as himself (dressed as the Riddler)

The Dark Knights Two Face again is so complex many may not even see it coming. Plunged from a respected agent of good, by a tragic loss, into a dark vigilante, this character and Batman beg to have a compare and contrast paper written by middle school children.

Rachel Dawes
Katie “sure.” Holms Raw acting talent had only begun to be tapped when she decided to make a sharp career turn into Tom “I’m crazy” Cruise. Still no one expects much from Batman’s Love interest. Whether it is Kim Basinger, Nichole Kidman or someone else Tom Cruise has dated they are mostly there to look pretty and get into some sort of predicament.

Maggie Gyllenhaal has the natural good looks and acting talent that have eluded Batman and Bond girls alike for decades. It is nice to see a woman bring something to Batman that is not just another pair of lifeless eyes reading their equally lifeless lines.
Don’t you agree Katie Holms?
Well, before I start to bore you (toooo late). What I really liked about the film were the themes of life and death, vengeance and protection, chaos and order. All of these were woven together into a story that was less of a comic adaptation and more of a morality play meets explosive gangster film. I think this movie would have been just as good without any makeup and without any gadgets or explosions. Don’t get me wrong I love gadgets and explosions, but in this Batman they were simply there to further the plot of the movie. They were not the movie.

By the time the movie was over at 4am I left a happy camper. It may have just been the sleep deprivation, but this was by far the best Batman of the series and one of the better movies I have seen in the last couple years.

"Because he's the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now...and so we'll hunt him, because he can take it. Because he's not a hero. He's a silent guardian, a watchful protector...a dark knight. "

Monday, July 14, 2008

I ♥ KitchenAid

I ♥ KitchenAid
Six years ago for our wedding Cara and i got a KitchenAid mixer. It has served us well over the years it has a PTO (Power Take Off) for the many attachments that I bought like the cheese grater and the meat grinder. We had a lot of good times and ground a lot of cheese, but about a month ago it finally gave out. I was making some oatmeal cookies and a small poof of smoke came out and it just stopped.

My best efforts at resucitating it were unsuccessful. There was a large high power transistor that I considered replacing, and [unsurprisingly] they did not have anything suitable at radio shack. I decided that before I started de-soldering and ordering transistors off of the internet I would call to see in the help line coule do anything for me and my 8yo mixer.

They did verify that it was indeed out of warrenty and then asked me several questions about what I was making...

Karen: How many cups of flour did it have.
John: I don't know about 4... I could look it up if you want the exact number
Karen: Could you
John: (clickety click) [recipe] 4 and a half (double recipe)
Karen: What speed were you using
John: [Shrug] 5?
Karen: Hold on let me talk to some people...
Karen: Well because that is out of warrenty we cannot replace the mixer with a new one.
John: Ok
Karen: But, we can send you a refurbeshed model if that will work
John: OK...
Karen: We don't carry the Epicurean model any more.
John: OK?
Karen: So we will have to give you the Professional 600 model. It is similar, but it has a 600W motor (instead of 475W) and it has a bigger bowl and a better drive train.
John: OK!

Karen went on to explain the shipping details, at which point I did not really care how much it would be to ship. And how much was it to ship? $0 both ways. I was somewhat amazed. She also said that they were backordered (whatever) and that it would probably be a couple weeks and to call after 3.

The 3 weeks went by and called to see how much longer it would be. They said that they were still backordered for the refurbished models, but to give it another week. Two days later I got a brand new Pro600. I am not sure how or why.

Long story... (ok still kind of long). I made some whipped butter topping for an apple crisp and the new mixer is great. Although Cara did mention that is sounded like a jet engine was about to take off on our counter. So the moral of the story is when you get married you should register for a kitchenaid mixer.

RIP Mixy 2000 - 2008