Billboards I like to argue with 3

As Promised
Billboards I like to argue with 3

Nothing is worse that political ads. TV, radio, but this is clearly the worst thing I have ever seen. First of all lets talk a little about capitalization. I think we all agree that if you want to YELL while typing all you have to DO is write in ALL CAPS. So let read this again, this time with the yelling in place, which is clearly what that child is doing. Sometimes it is acceptable to write whole lines in all caps, but then you have to stick to your guns. You can’t not capitalize Is and the CAPS it up on “THAT EQUAL PROTECTION OF THE LAW”. While we are on the topic of EXCLAMATION, in 5th grade my teacher told me that if you use exclamation points unnecessarily that your story (or billboard) will read like a Japanese comic book. Well maybe that is what they are going for with this color scheme, so lets move on to sentence structure NOW!

It is hard to get what the author is going for, just by the subtle overtones. However, I’m pretty sure they meant to say “Is that (in) a child’s best interest”. As it is written it sounes like the 4 days with his dad is the thing that he is interested in that is the best for him, or maybe the favorite of all of his interests. Moving right along, I think they want to say “Is that equal protection of (the) law?”. Unless, of course, they are talking about Jude Law… or maybe LAW is an acronym. That must be why it is capitalized.

My informed wife informs me that a colon can be used to start a list of items, address an individual, or to identify a character in a script. So this billboard either wants Judge Blockman to reform family court NOW, or this is a line from a script in which Judge Blockman is a character. I like to think it is the later. I am also not ruling out that this is just the start of his to do list (it is a work in progress).

Maybe I am being too critical. The red, yellow, and blue scheme is almost patriotic.
Let’s take a step back and look at the billboard as a whole. The child is clearly very upset. I assume he has been reading this billboard, or maybe he wrote the billboard. That actually makes a lot more sense. This really seams like something a 5 year old wrote. The Capitalization, the grammar, the punctuation, this all seems very much like this child wrote and designed this billboard. It is actually pretty impressive.

So I guess I am torn. This billboard makes me very angry and I want to punish its creators, by doing the opposite of what they are asking me to do, but I am not really sure what that is. Is this a pro or anti Judge Blockman billboard. Are they torturing children? I really have no idea. The more I read this the more confused I am. Perhaps I will have to go to the website to find out what the hell is going on… And perhaps that was their plan the whole time. Well played Judge Blockman

Billboards I Like to Argue With 2

Billboards I Like to Argue With 2

On my way home I came across this gem while stopped at a light. At first this seemed like a reasonable request for a PSA type billboard. Yes, yes I will stand up to an abuser. Who does he think he is anyway, abusing some poor kid? But, as I continued to sit at the very unnecessary light at the corner of Bradley and County Fair, this got to bothering me.

First of all why the hell does this guy look so smug? Now I’m kind of pissed. Someone really needs to put this abuser in his place. And another thing, why is he black? What exactly are they implying here? I have half a mind to call up this “CASA” and giving them a piece of my mind. This billboard is a racist attack on the community it is so clearly trying to serve. I have not seen any of these ads with a smug white guy anywhere else around town.

Just before I got out of my car and started yelling at the sign the light finally turned green. “Thank god, now I don’t have to look at this inflammatory propaganda anymore” I thought as I pulled away slowly… Oh, nevermind

Billboards I Like to Argue With 1

Billboards I Like to Argue With 1

Cara has often pointed out that I like to argue, sometimes just for the sake of arguing. It is a source of some frustration when I try to start a lively debate with her, and she is less interested in exploring the merits of the flat tax, or ground based laser defence systems. sometime I must take my ire out on less articulate opponents. So I present to you "Billboards I Like to Argue With"

This is a prime example of billboards that do not really make any sense and kind of piss me off. I will let the whole circa 1995 Jerry Sienfeld look alike contest thing slid and move on to the content of the ad. This is a guy who is clearly just starting out and wants to get his name out there. That is why his name is 6 times as big as anything else in the ad, with the possible exception of his gigantic head looming over that small town.

Then there is the tagline or Time Hoss's slogan. Real Estate the "Fairway"[sic]. Now I am not the grammar police. In fact they probably have a warrant out for my arrest, but I really have no idea what this means. I can only assume that he is some sort of golfer and this is a "clever" play on words. Perhaps he should have had some sort of golf club to clarify his message.

What he may be unaware of is that many people consider the use of quotation marks to imply sarcasm. In this case I would have to assume that 1) he mistakenly misspelled fairway, and 2) that he is a shady realtor who will do whatever backhanded things it will take to get the job done. He will lie steal and cheat to get you what you want in this fast paced real estate market. Ok, maybe I should give him a second chance. If I am buying something I would kind of like him to be an evil slit your throat Jerry Sienfeld. On the other hand what motivation does he really have to get me the lowest price it it is just going to bring his commission down. I am going to pass on your services for now, Jerry "Fairway" Sienfeld.

While that may have been a leap what I can actually infer from this sign is that this is a guy who is so interested in golf (and puns) that he put that ridiculous slogan on his sign. I can only assume that this will somehow bleed over into his work. Where is my realtor? Out playing golf. What are these open hose decorations? Golf balls and Caddie hats (I am not complaining about the BBQ meatballs on golf tees). Where is the closing? At the pro shop.

Whatever it is he is going for on this sign, he is not getting it across, at least not to me. Then again I am not an avid golfer. I really only make it out once or twice a year. Maybe it is an inside joke that only golfers get. Maybe he was so excited to get his enormous head looking down on the Barr Real Estate office that he hurriedly threw that up there with out really getting any constructive feedback. Either way I am going to go watch Caddyshack and see if I can't figure this whole thing out.