Superman Time Travel 5 Paragraph Rant

Superman Time Travel 5 Paragraph Rant

Occasionally there are things that happen in movies that are so unbelievably ridiculous that one just wants to stand up in middle of the theater and say this is bull shit. I'm talking about the really egregious violations of reality, the crimes against physics, math, and common intuition. I am willing to let a lot slide, under the guise of science fiction (if superman can fly who knows what he can do), and I am willing to let even more go unchecked chalking it up to the poor production values of modern cinema (see honey I shrunk the kids). However, sometimes it just goes to far, takes too many liberties, and violates the very trust on which hundreds of years of cinema have been built. It is only for the inexcusable examples that I reserve the 5 Paragraph Rant.

In "Superman the Movie" we learn many things about Superman, including where he came from, his humble beginnings, his alter ego, and his ability to reverse time. While time travel is something that has been continually debated in the scientific world for many years, and even achieved for small particles in controlled environments, the time travel as illustrated in this example is not only physically impossible, but also holds several moral and cosmological ramifications, that superman's ill conceived actions wrought on the people of Earth and indeed the universe.

The science of science fiction has always been convoluted at best and completely inaccurate at worst, but there is a general agreement that the basic laws of the universe still exist. In addition to giving the audience a common frame of reference it also makes filming easier, as the filming presumably takes place in our universe. Building on the common universe are typically uncommon exceptions, that need no explanation. Excellent examples of these are Superman can fly, and shoot lasers out of his eyes. There is no explanation required except that it is a work of fiction. Now, at then end of the movie, Superman starts recklessly speeding around the Earth in order to reverse the direction of its spin. He is not actually touching the Earth. He is not really even in the atmosphere. In reality flying around the earth really quickly would probably do nothing at all and if it did to anything it would probably just disrupt the weather patterns and cause several hurricanes. Let's assume for a moment that whatever field that allows Superman to fly could be expanded to include the Earth, thus allowing him to directly influence its inertia without any direct interaction. Why not? Now as he speeds around the Earth it can change direction (irrevocably altering its orbit, the seasons and climate), but the trillions of gallons of water in the ocean keeps going in its initial direction. The massive tsunami would wash over entire continents killing billions. Fortunately, Lois Lane is in the desert in NV, so she will probably be spared. Well, clearly that did not happen in the movie so we will assume that Superman anticipated all of these problems as well as the massive sheer forces that would cause unparalleled earthquakes and volcanic eruptions, and also anticipated the problems with the Earths magnetic field. Presumably Superman would have solved all of these problems with something unimportant to the plot, possibly the speed with which Issac Newton was spinning in his grave counteracted these other issues. It is after all science fiction, which brings us to...

Time travel has been dealt with extensively in science fiction as well as in the various disciplines of cosmology and particle physics. There are two exciting prospects for time travel. First, because of the curvature of space it is theoretical possible that "tunnels" in space could exist, and with some relativistic gravitational magic one end of the wormhole could be in the past. On the bright side it would also be some where very far away (billions of light years), and it is likely that going through the wormhole would rip you into carne asada later to be sold to Taco Bell... But in the past". The other option involves particle physics and it turns out is pretty boring. Of course with all of the physics and discussion about time travel one thing is universally agreed upon by scientist and Delorian owner alike. Reversing the spin of the Earth will have absolutely no effect on the progression of time locally or universally... NONE. In fact the very idea that doing anything to the Earth will change the nature of time is so egocentric that it should make one angry that it is even considered in the movie. In fact in 1992 (late 1992) even the pontiff agreed that the earth is not the center of the universe. So why reversing the spin of the Earth would cause time to reverse, is such and infuriating question that any further discussion may just cause my head to explode. Which brings us to...

The moral implications of reversing time, are a deep and troubling question indeed. Who knows what effects going back even 20 min, and changing history could have. Will the change spawn a new universe parallel but flawed just enough that it will eventually spiral into destruction. Perhaps the change will put a irreversible tear in the time space continuum destined to doom us all. The reality of it is that no one knows what potentially horrible pitfalls lie in the unknown field of time travel. So what great injustice necessitated the potentially disastrous reversal of time. HIS GIRLFRIEND DIED! While, sad for him, this is certainly no grounds for upending time and space, no less for your own personal gain. As long as time was reversed he could have prevented any one of a number of genocides or horrible injustices, but I guess he was too busy pulling some rocks off of his girlfriend. The true injustice is that no one really liked Lois Lane. She was kind of whiny, overeager, and always seems to be getting in trouble, but in death she could have been the great motivation for the man of steel to help humanity. In death she could have been the depth and anguish that this one dimensional character was missing. However in life she pretty much goes right back to her generally unlikable self except Superman uses his magic kisses (roofies) to erase her memory.

In conclusion, this is one of the most ridiculous abuses of science and one of the most egregious abuses of a super power in recent memory. Even the bad guys abuse there power on a grander scale worthy of super villain status. This is an entirely unnecessary sequence in which we learn that superman is nothing more than a child when it comes to accepting and morning the loss of a loved one. Unfortunately, due to the strange rays of our yellow sun, he is able to traverse time, lift up tectonic plates (yep that is in there too), and erase peoples memory by kissing them. This grants him the opportunity to turn any tale of trial and loss into a picture perfect Disney ending that will leave our children unprepared for their future, but that is another rant.